From 2/1:

• I was at the salad bar in the Greenery [the cafeteria at my school], standing in front of John Leguizamo. I was talking to him and he gave me a vial of pink liquid. I poured some of it into a glass of water. It fizzed up and became strawberry soda. I walked away from the salad bar and then thought, regretfully, "I should have complimented him on Super Mario Brothers the Movie."

• I was in an upscale suburban home that may have been mine. I was in Doom - doors were opening of their own volition, little flying robots hovered around shooting me and I could sense monsters lurking around. I had expended most of my ammo so I was down to my infinite-ammo blaster. I crept around corners targeting the robots and destroying them.

I walked up the stairs and found a little girl in one of the rooms. I was apparently her mother, though I had temporarily turned into David, the long-haired, bearded metal fan from the dorm. I awkwardly consoled her, wondering when she was going to figure out I wasn't her mom.

• I was watching comic movie shorts called "Doom." In the first one, a small, black dog (a poodle, I think) was swimming through a pool. Wacky music was playing. A female dog appeared in the water in front of him to distract him but he bypassed her. Laughter. The dog made it to his goal: a giant, female poodle five times his size whom he immediately started mating with. Laughter. Credits.

The next one was a film of Dwayne from Little Miss Sunshine in the form of a giant, black and yellow amorphous creature who spewed amiable catchphrases.