• I boarded a plane bound for San Diego to come home for a holiday. We taxied onto the freeway, where we accelerated until we hit an incline and took off. The whole time, the pilot was giving us an authoritarian lecture on the perils of becoming too emotionally involved in the affairs of George Bush and the government.

The plane barely stayed off the ground. The pilot told us he had to land the plane again, then continued lecturing.

In the airport, we were told that the flight would recommence in half an hour. I left the building and walked around. I saw a girl hitch-hiking on a traffic island.

When I came back, the flight had left without me. I was distraught, though I then saw my dad walking through the airport. I consulted him and he told me to take a later flight. I booked another flight, though the only way for me to get on the plane was to become a spider monkey.

At home, I walked up into some loft where my college friends were sitting around. I was alternatingly a spider monkey and a robot constructed out of plush cushions.

Afterwards, I was laying on a car out in the street when a giant, blue bird landed nearby. It was very strange-looking. Instead of feathers, it had what looked like hundreds of beaks hanging off its body. It landed right next to me then started climbing on me, coming all the way up to my face and looking at me.

Kim [my neighbor] drove down her driveway in her SUV like she was picking me up for school, though I was already in my car, frantically preparing for my return journey to the airport. Somehow, I ended up in Kim's car and had to jump out while it was moving because she was so reluctant to let me out.

Is anyone reading this?